I feel like saying "Nobody told me it would be this hard" but that would be a lie. The truth is, they told me, I just didn't listen. Actually, I just thought I was immune. I had this. I had sent baby Z to drop-off daycare before, she'd been babysat a bunch of times, she just spend 8-2 for two weeks with her abuela, therefore we would both be pros at 'real' daycare. 'Real' in the sense that this is a 7-4, 5 days a week thing that will last as long as the school year. Oh boy. Thankfully I gave us two weeks integration time to adapt to the new schedule, new daycare, new everything.
To moms who have not been through this yet, what I can best describe it as is a terrible break-up. You know, when rationally you know this is the best decision, but emotionally it feels like your heart has been torn to pieces and stepped on? That feeling. It is AWFUL! Similarly to a break-up situation, I have cried, I have found it hard to concentrate, I have wondered if I had made the right decision, and I have mourned the time we spend together. It is very, very weird to go from seeing someone 24/7 to not seeing them for big chunks of the day.
Today is day 3 of integration and overall, things are going well. Today was the first time she had her afternoon nap in her crib at daycare. She has been eating well. Yesterday morning she began playing with the other babies. I feel so much better knowing that I can trust the daycare we chose for her - everyone who works there is amazing!
On the plus side, I have a ton of free time now and I don't have to worry about what to pack in the diaper bag before I leave my house. It is very liberating. Let's hope this journey continues to be positive!
