Hello everyone! I'm still here although I haven't posted in 7 months (yikes!). As you can probably assume, going back to work full-time plus having a young daughter = no time to blog. Why am I blogging now? A Tuesday at 1:20pm? Here's that story:
Around the end of November, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with number 2! We are both incredibly happy about this, as we had hoped to have our children close in age, and summer babies are great for me. As a teacher in Canada, my maternity leave lasts for a whole year, therefore I miss an entire school year. It's best for me and for potential students, rather than having a replacement come in during the year. The holidays went by in a whirlwind of family, friends, dinner parties and a lot of fun. January came along and we kept visiting and going on weekend trips and my mom definitely told me to slow down... which I did, but the damage had already been done (don't worry though - baby #2 is still A-OK!).
By the end of January, I was a complete mess. I would break down and cry at least once a day. My colleagues didn't recognize me anymore - I'm usually very energetic and enthusiastic and I was feeling very low and exhausted. At the beginning of February, I started having contractions and went to the clinic. The doctor (not my regular doctor but a colleague of hers) told me to slow things down and do no physical activity. My family and I are very active people. My husband and I are to. Up until this point, I was walking to the metro, walking to the daycare to pick up my daughter, walking the dog, etc. But we now had to buy a car so I could actually get places without feeling winded and getting contractions. I was sure once we had the car I would be a lot better. Fast forward a few weeks and no such luck - the best metaphor I came up with was feeling like I was swimming in the ocean and the waves just kept crashing over me. I wasn't drowning - yet - but I was so exhausted and couldn't see the shore.
I went to my regular follow-up pregnancy appointment in mid-February and explained the situation to my doctor: the fact that I could no longer walk for 5 minutes or go up stairs without feeling exhausted, the fact that I would come home and cry every day, the fact that sitting at the dinner table was so exhausting I would rather be laying on the couch and the fact that I didn't seem to be able to recuperate on any sleep as I'd have insomnia every second night. It seems as though she had had patients like me before because she said, "Oh ya, that can happen" and immediately gave me a month's leave of absence from work. She told me the hormones were partially at fault, the weather wasn't helping (it was one of the coldest and longest winters here!), and that I just really needed to rest. When I started asking (through tears) why this was happening to me and why I couldn't do it all like so many other women around me I had seen be pregnant and work and have kids, she told me to stop immediately. She said, "comparing yourself to others will not help, feeling guilty will not help and these thoughts need to stop". Easier said than done, but OK.
Well here we are, three weeks later and I can say I am feeling better. If we go back to the metaphor, I still feel as though I'm swimming in the ocean, but the waves aren't crashing over me every two seconds - I feel as though I can catch my breath. I've been having less insomnia, naps every day, and the warmer weather is encouraging as well.
My husband was and continues to be the most amazing support I could ask for (along with my family and friends). He is such a strong man and sometimes knows just what to say. As I was doubting myself once again he told me to notice that we haven't been seeing as much of Kate Middleton this time around, as she is pregnant with number 2. He said, "She's probably finding it more difficult too". Being compared to a princess just made my day!
